ALPHA LION - M'S GEMS

ALPHA LION – M’s Gems
By: Melissa Goldberg

King of the Jungle? Yes! Father Knows best? Yes! Head of the school PTA? Yes! Really? Yes!

While sitting at my children’s Kindergarten orientation I was impressed
thrilled to see so many dad’s sitting in the chairs during the AM meeting with the school principal.

During the orientation the school principal introduced several key player’s in my children’s life next year - the Social Worker, the School Nurse and the President of the PTA, a man. I was blown away, I thought, WOW, that is amazing. I know fathers have really stepped up to the plate on this parenting stuff, but this was a new one for me. Yes, I elbowed my hubby and said, “Maybe one day you will be the PTA President?” (I can’t remember the actual sarcastic response right now but there was eye rolling).

Anyway, when you really start to think about the role of the Father, the list is pretty long. There are folks who claim the role of the Father has changed over generations. I’d like to clarify here and note that the role has not changed, but that the role has expanded. The rationale for the changes lies within 2 key factors, women moving into the workforce and having careers and the high rate of divorce.

One of the earliest roles of the Father was as hunter and protector.

There are many other critical roles a father brings to the family and so in honor of the daddy’s out there, M’s Gems is going breakdown some of the roles dad’s are playing today and examples of how well they play them.

Educator - Fathers teach us some of life’s most important lessons. Sometimes the tasks are direct lessons, like throwing a baseball or driving a car. Some tasks are often compared to the animals discussed on the show Alpha Lion. Father’s instill our confidence by offering patience and tender care. They have our backs allowing us to take risks and experience new things. Father’s teach by example, the way they get up and go to work everyday, the way they treat a woman, the way they treat their family and most importantly the way they defend themselves from their prey and protect their Pride.
“Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn’t teach me everything he knows.” ~ Al Unser, Jr.

Giver of Life - “Thanks dad for giving mom your seed.” Cynthia, Mommas Pearls. It takes 2 to tango and without the sperm well there’d be an egg but no hatchling chickens and would not nearly be as fun (see MIGHTY APHRODITE)!

Lover - If there is one thing our children need to hear over and over it’s 3 simple words “I LOVE YOU”. It is the role of the parent to demonstrate love. Not too long ago a friend of mine lost his father and when I asked how he was doing, he said, “I know he loved me very much.” I asked, “How? “He answered, “because he told me everyday.”

Bless - There is a beautiful tradition in Judaism when the Father says a blessing over his children on the Sabbath. The most common custom is for the Father to put his hands on the child's head and recite the blessing. In some homes the blessing is followed by a kiss, and in other homes it is followed by personal words of praise (referenced from about.com). This custom is something that is very spiritual and doesn’t require any formality or the need to be religious. Dads bless your children, give them praise followed with a kiss. See dads, you can be spiritual too!

Economic Provider - Yes, many moms work too, but the pressure is typically on the alpha male to provide for his family. Dads got to bring home the bacon and moms got to fry it up in a pan.

Care Provider - We know that the fathers of this generation play a big role in the caring of children. My husband is a master at bath time. He has a system and executes every night while I clean up from the evening meal. The dads often say they can’t do something, but we can make sure to find a way to explain things in their language.

For example – hears how to teach your man to change a diaper: “Honey - spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.” ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968

Companion - I think a more common term these days is “play-date”. I love to watch my children interact with their father. When he comes home from work he strips from his work attire puts on his play clothes and gets down on the floor and rolls around with his kids. I watch their faces smiling and listen to their giggles. This is such an important role especially when children are young and demand a lot of attention. Their needs are so basic and it is so important to meet those expectations.

Mother’s Support - “if Mom is happy, everyone is happy” pretty-simple recipe, but this also falls under a sub category to protector. When the cubs are rough with the Mother (or disrespectful), the alpha lion steps in and protects the Lioness. Mother’s support ensures a safe and happy home.

Protector - This is hard wired in our men (women too). Larry (Cynthia’s dad) shared his experiences in Africa on his safari. He saw a family of Rhinos and he noticed how the mother Rhino would put herself in front of her baby rhino whenever the jeep of tourists approached. Nature allows our men both in strength and in mental power the ability to protect his family. In today’s environment there are several forces that pose a threat to a man and his family. This job is never ending super hero work, from when a toddler strolls near the street of busy cars to a teenage daughter going on her first date. When shit hits the fan, it’s dad I call first because I know he will stay on the line to help and protect me.
"I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection." ~ Sigmund Freud

Adviser to all things electronic and all things fire – Call me old fashion but sometimes oldies are goodies. I could probably sit down and read the manual for that GIANT remote control, what’s the fancy term? “universal remote” and figure that thing out but, I kind of like letting my man control the television and all the other stuff it’s hooked up to. When it comes to a man and his grill I respect the relationship and stay away. My husband is the King of our jungle and he should reign supreme... just stay out of my kitchen.

One of the greatest experiences I have as a mom is watching my husband interact with my children. I am so proud of the myriad roles he plays in our lives. I appreciate and recognize the level of strength and love he brings to our home.

Wishing all the Dad’s a wonderful month of love and appreciation...

~ M'S GEMS