Old School? No Homeschool - M'S GEMS

By: Melissa Goldberg

Well, I will admit right off the bat, Iʼve been schooled this week. I learned a heck of a lot about something I had prematurely judged and even shook my head at. This weeks show went to a place Cynthia and I have never been too. We spoke with two impressive and admirable mothers who have home schooled their children. As part of my research for this topic, I surveyed some parents about their thoughts on home schooling. I was not alone in my misconceptions or ideas about this approach.

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I heard comments like “home - schoolers donʼt get any socialization skills”, or “donʼt people do that for religious reasons?” and “Thatʼs crazy to be in the house all day teaching kids”. Again, my field work only consisted to the Queens-Long Island area where itʼs not a common practice. I also only polled a few folks and so by no means can I call this extensive research but I was amazed that no one even said they had considered it for themselves.

I am proud and excited to share some gems from this weeks radio show. My eyes have been opened to a practice that in some circumstances makes sense for a family. We spoke with Anna Darrah, a single working mom, who took the journey of homeschooling her daughter. When her daughter turned 12 and came to an educational fork in the road, she explored the homeschool option. Although her daughter did end up back into a school system two years later, she had provided a great bridge of education over the two years between one school and another. In our conversation with Tracy Gideon Wagner, we discussed her experiences of homeschooling her first grade son over the past two years. In addition, to home schooling her son, she is raising a set of 4 year old twins who she will be enrolling in her daily lesson plans next year. Her approach to home schooling is very realistic and she takes each day as it comes.

About two years ago, my husband and I came to the same point as Tracy and her family. We had young children (my twins) who were only a couple of years away from entering school. Where we lived at the time did not offer the a public school option we were comfortable with. I had researched the testing scores for the schools and was not very impressed. Besides private school being very expensive, I was not interested in the ridiculous procedure to get a child placed. I was not interested in child interviews and even less interested in parent screening. We were concerned and anxious about their schooling and our solution was to pack up and leave the city life and head for the burbs. Even after we arrived, we took our time to research and find a town with a school system we liked. We have made sacrifices to live in a place where the schools have a great reputation. We have embraced and love our new community and have no regrets what so ever and so I guess I wonʼt be researching the home school option. I will say, even in a town where the reputation of the school system is great, there are still issues that leave parents nervous and concerned. Although there is a high standard of learning in our district, children are also exposed to high pressures to do well, there is a lot of competitiveness and Iʼm sure itʼs had some incidences of bullying and peer pressure amongst the kids.

After an hour of listening about home schooling, the processes and the practice. I now understand why families take this path. This week instead of “Gemʼs”, I will call them “Myth busters” about homeschooling.

For Religious Reasons - Yes, religion does often play a role in a families decision to homeschool, but there are several other reasons parents feel more comfortable keeping their kids home. For Tracy, she had done her research and was not happy with what she had heard about her local public school. Other reasons parents have decided to homeschool their kids are due to their frustrations with overcrowding, violence, poor teachers, distance to school when a child has a physical or learning disability.

Home School Kids Arenʼt Getting Enough Socialization - A classroom is not the only place a child socializes. Because the days are more relaxed and breaks are essential, parents do make an extra effort to schedule play dates. The children sign up for extra curricular activities such as sports teams, scouting and after school programs. The kids often finds themselves at the park for "park days". The home school kids end up with lots of friends and acquaintances just like the kids who sit in a classroom 5 days a week.

Home School Children are Weird - Even parents who homeschool had this concern before they decided to homeschool. The truth is, there are some weird kids everywhere! In school, at home, weird is weird. At least if you are with your "weird" child, you know best how to approach him and your child will get the most customized teaching plans!

You Have to Home School Forever - There is no life sentence to homeschooling. We learned from Anna that after 10 years in the Montessori school system she decided to explore other options for her daughter and decided to home school. She spent 2 years of working and traveling with her daughter. They were two amazing and inspirational years however, she felt that her daughter needed more structure, guidance and other teenagers to bounce off of so enrolling her into a school was the best next step. The advice we got from Tracy was it is important to take it one year at a time. She also offed a great piece of advice that each family should have a mission statement. The purpose of this is to figure out what you want for your child or better, what do you want your child to be like in the future. A mission statement helps you navigate through your childʼs school years and helps you make decisions for what is best for your child.

Moms Homeschool - They donʼt “play school” - Tracy debunked my myth and theory about what a home school childʼs day looks like. A school day at home does not involve 6 - 8 hours of a child sitting at a desk in your living room while you are standing at black board teaching. This type of curriculum allows a childʼs learning to be very relaxed. Home schooling is done in a more natural state and is very flexible. There isnʼt time spent on attendance, lining up and all the distractions that take place in a classroom. Families can take trips more often and best part is no HOME WORK!! It's more like Field Research. Homeschool children often find themselves in museums, art galleries and libraries a lot more often then classroom children.

Home School Parents are on Their Own - We discussed many resources for parents of home schooled children. The internet offers a huge amount of information and support. There are home school groups and home school co-ops each with their own resources and practices. Some allow other parents to rotate teaching and some organize group activities, such as park time and field trips. If you Google “Homeschool” you will be blown away at the amount of web sites available to provide curriculums, information and the local and state laws. One site that Tracy recommended as the place to start so you know the legal requirements in your state is the Home School Legal Defense Association.

There is Never Any Down Time - I asked Tracy what her day looked like. I wondered if she too woke up in the morning, hopped out of bed and was a lunatic for the two hours before the yellow bus drove away? In our house, I am usually dragging kids out of bed, sometimes twice because they often climb back in if I leave the room. I am chasing them to get their socks and shoes on, combing hair, packing snacks and lunches, getting book bags together and getting myself ready for a work as well. I consider myself quite organized, but the mornings are still a rush to the finish line. Both Anna and Tracy said one of the best things about home schooling is that there is no crazy morning routine. Mornings are calm and there isnʼt any rush hour like most homes. A home school child can often be found curled up on the couch with a book or sitting at the kitchen table going through a work book.

It is not a myth about the amount of time and dedication it takes to homeschool a child. Tracy admitted she does not possess superhuman patience and often calls for quiet time so that she can take her own timeout.

Tracy shared a pearl about home schooling - The pro of homeschooling is you are with your kids all the time. The con of homeschooling is you are with your kids all the time.

There is no way I am signing my kids out of school and setting up a blackboard at home, but I will admit I am a bit envious and in awe of the parents who have made the unselfish and courageous decision to homeschool their children. Home schooling seems to be a constant trial run and sometimes it works well and sometimes it doesnʼt. For now I will have to trust my local public system to give my children what they need in education and will have to grin and bare the endless hours of projects and homework I get to do with my kids each day.

Mʼs Gems