BIRTHDAY GIRLS

By: Cynthia Litman

Pearl of the Day: An Eternal Wish

Halloween is the kickoff party for mine and Melissa’s birthday and has me thinking of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s pearl, "the years teach much which the days never knew." 

Baby Cynthia

Wisdom seeps in with age. 

The numbers keep adding up yet the only time(s) I lied about my age was when I was underage and usurped Sharon’s ID so I can go out to bars.  Age is a badge of honor and so many of us are on a race to turn back the clock that we miss the true beauty of where we are and what lies ahead.

There’s something magical about the 365 cycle of your birthday year. While the 365^th day always either comes too fast or not fast enough, ready or not, you’re a year older and I say, embrace it with an open heart.

My friend Macha quickly realized that I am really, really, really into my birthday --- damn right I am!! It’s the best and most important day of everyone’s, I mean, my life. It’s the day I was gifted to this world, my parent’s amazingly awesome one out of two best gifts to this world.

Here are my favorite birthday rituals to help you begin to love your birthday.  

Mark every birthday with 3 candles to honor the past, present and future of the birthday boy/girl’s self.

YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT - SELF

Start with an annual confession and life review as you enter your birthday.

In the weeks leading up to your birthday, embark on a major soul search and face the most hidden places of your heart, soul and mind. It’s as honest and as raw as you can be, like the moments before your birth into this world where you are just pure spirit.

First tune into how you feel and ask - am I connected with my true self or am I layered in anxiety or any other icky feelings?  Then explore the blocks.

The other night I was meditating and had to set aside the  “daily grind” thoughts and feelings for my true self to emerge. It was like Peter Pan rediscovering his shadow. Oh, there you are, Cynthia, where you been girl??? Stay with me.

Then ask yourself the questions: 

*Am I where I thought I’d be?

What are my hearts truest desires for the year to come? 

Am I happy with myself and the people in my life? 

What shifts do I need to undertake?

Let the spiritual cleanse commence.

While some of these questions may lead you to dark places of your soul, it’s so important to cleanse and shine a light onto them. Your birthday is a time when you have that extra light of help from your loved ones and your angels. I believe it’s why it’s called a birthday wish.

As a mom, the family review cycles as well, for it’s not just enough to think of myself anymore, I take stock of my familial relationships - with my daughter, my son, them to eachother, my husband, my son and husband, my husband and my daughter, all of us, with my parents, my sister, and so forth.

Take this trip so that on your birthday you can be re-born again, refreshed, aware and ready for the year to come!

YOUR PAST SELF

What is the future without your past?   

Especially since they say your present is a result of your past thoughts, decisions and intentions.

To heal your past self, here’s a ritual. First, honor the steps you did take in the past year. 

Ask yourself: 

What were the “right” steps? 

What were your missteps? 

Where did they both lead you?

What lessons did you learn? 

How did you grow? 

Are you still pounding your head against the wall??

Then leave it in the past.

Turning 35 last year was a biggy, I mean it took me into a whole other age bracket!!

It seems silly almost, but I spiral into this thought process: I look back at my ups and downs and done and accomplished a lot but get stuck on those irons I totally forgot were in the fire. An interesting high wire act of oh my god, I’ve yet to do this, like have 5 Mommas Pearls books published by now, I didn’t get to do that yet, haven't traveled to that place, I thought for sure I’d have that by now or look this way or know how to dress myself without looking like I got stuck in a tornado in the morning....

Ugh, whatever!!! That downward spiral was so last year!

There are plenty of things that I am all to happy to leave behind with my 35 year old self. Happy birthday past Cynthia!! C YA!

YOUR FUTURE INCARNATION

This year I’m okay with taking my foot into the 36 year old threshold. In fact, I am leaping forward in a big potato sack race!!

As you set your wish and intent for your new year circle back to this question.

In the grand scheme of things what’s really most important to me?

Whatever the answer, that's what you hold in your heart and follow.

For me, the answer is always the same: my family, friends, work, this is what propels me forward into each year with a big fat goofy birthday smile on my face.

What I am most proud of are my children and the journey of Mommas Pearls. Both have led me to deeper places that I always knew were there but haven’t let surface as my past latent self.

So go forth and hold this pearl from Douglas MacArthur in your heart "you are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt, as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear, as young as your hope, as old as your despair." 

CELEBRATE

It’s not an ego thing, it’s a love thing.

Your birthday is a time you CAN summon those whom you love and wish to spend time with.  They WILL come, whether out of feeling obligated or overjoyed to see you. 

I do not get to see or speak to my friends as much as I think of them and on this one day, even when it seems that it’s just route now to say "happy birthday" on your friends Facebook page, there is something about getting that collective attention shined upon you, which you do not get every day.

So yes, my friends, I will be summoning you on my birthday and throughout my 36^th year!! :)

COLLECTIVE BLESSING

I saved the best part about my birthday for last, my birthday is also ALL SOULS DAY and the first celebration of the DAY OF THE DEAD.  It’s a collective day to celebrate, honor, respect and acknowledge each other and bless all the souls in this world and on the other side. 

So on my birthday, which is your day too, honor that light in which we all shine.  Just save me some cake. :)

 

Happy birthday to me!!  Happy Birthday to you!!  Happy Birthday dear Melissa!!!

Obviously, our birthday party is just beginning!! We’ll be taking this party on air on the Mommas Pearls radio show….

RESOURCES:

- My 36 years of infinitely timeless wisdom

-* I love this question which is central to the monthly newsletter for the indie film "LOST IN SUNSHINE" (I'm an executive producer)

Copyright © 2010 Cynthia Litman d/b/a Tigris Imprints. All Rights Reserved.