Pearl of the Day: Life, liberty and the pursuit of sanity!
Our founding fathers long ago endorsed the notion that in order to birth your own life you must first declare your independence. My cousin Lynn proffers the pearl that Mommyhood is trying to stay sane while balancing spinning plates on top of sticks held from both hands and feet.
There is nothing more freeing and restraining than being a mom and having your own family. Like John Hancock, moms set the ground rules for their house. Yet with this independence the mom’s attention is constantly in demand. There seems to be an unlimited supply of outward attention mom’s dole out on a regular basis.
Each facet of a mom’s life, Marriage, Kids, School, Friends, Activities, Work, Parents, House, Doctors, Shopping…. represents a plate in the cupboard and the mom’s are the lucky ones with the job to keep the plates spinning on top of sticks from your hands and feet. When one starts to wobble you need to put your attention there to get it spinning again until another one begins to wobble and you shift your attention there.
Sometimes, you need to let a plate fall and begin spinning another one but our attachment to the plate that already broke, ya know because you got that one from your mother and now it’s a big mess on the floor and the kids are charging in with bear feet, may cause us to miss the other plate that’s about to go.
I bet every mom feels like this. You crave your independence and need to check your mirror to make sure you are okay. Except sneaking a peak while in the midst of juggling the plates, well, there ain’t nothing graceful about that picture!
Think back to when you were engaged and first going to pick out your registry. You may have asked your mom for some guidance as to what items you needed to stock your new home with and your dishes pretty much set the stage for the rest of your items. You needed to decide how many settings you would need which was based upon how much entertaining you were planning to do and who you were going to do it for. This assessment usually begins with counting how many people in your family that you expected to invite to your table. Then you needed to add 2 plates for reserves.
So in many ways you chose exactly which pattern suited you best and to stock your cabinet with. Interestingly enough the dishes my then fiancé and I selected were later discontinued, when we heard this news we scoured the globe to stock up on our pattern.
Bet what you didn’t know back then when you signed on for Mommyhood is that you unconsciously decided to stock extra break proof plates for the kids and their friends, travel plates plus fine china!!
By setting your own home, stocking your kitchen with your dishes and inviting people over you are indeed declaring your independence. Many men take pride in this and perch themselves at the head of the table as the king of their castle. Personally I like the queen’s seat.
Before you ask a mom how they’re doing first conjure up the image of twirling plates and realize they may be in the midst of a Cirque du Soleil performance. Then be ready to dive in and help them twirl their plates or take one off their hands or just walk away or give them a push so they drop those old chipped hand me down plates and take them shopping for new ones.
Much like our country which is still in its infancy trying to find its role in the world, moms are the givers of freedom or pain, the police, goodwill ambassadors, social secretaries, consummate chefs and when we find a quiet moment, independent.
Yet when seeing our cupboard full, we take great pride and are all to happy to take them out for a spin.
For a refresher on the Declaration of Independence please visit:
For some cute snack plates check out:
For books on attachment issues my mom recommends: Susan Johnson “Hold Me Tight”
Originally published via Twolia.com July 8, 2009. Copyright © 2009 - 2011 Cynthia Litman d/b/a Tigris Imprints. All Rights Reserved.
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