Stage Fright: How My Moms Stage Fright Inspired Me

By: Cynthia Litman

Theatre Stage

Pearl of the Day: Pull Back the Curtain

On the journey of exploring generational wisdom and self-love, key memories are coming forward as I unlock my fear and realize the pearl "my fear lies within."

While speaking with my fellow mom friends about our daughters upcoming dance recital I recalled the many times I took the stage. I also remembered something about my mom.

When I was younger, my mom took a dance class and was very into it. I always admired my parents for maintaining and pursuing their independent interests. They took ballroom dancing lessons together, but this class was just for my mom to get her groove on.

The weeks leading towards her big dance recital were a time of great angst and anticipation.

With my almost 4 year old daughter,  her eyes light up at the slightest prospect of being in a dance show. She whirls and twirls all around the house and is just pissed she has to wait until May. It's a big wide open chance for her to be with her adorable little ballerina girlfriends performing what she’s been learning all year long in a 4 walled, audience absent room where her mommy catches glimpses through a very small window. My guess is she’ll rock that dance show and my fellow mommas and I will be laughing, crying and beaming the whole time.

My mom’s eyes had quite a different glint to them when she’d talk about her upcoming dance show. That glint was filled with fear – a deer frozen in headlights, how am I going to do this, what did I sign up for - fear.  She gets massive stage and camera fright. She loathes it and I saw her wrestle with that fear all my life.

Her fear of being upon the stage and showcasing what she’s learned throughout her dance class obviously stems from her life experience but it triggered an underlying fear in me. I feared wanting to shine, in all aspects of my life, and not fully enjoying the process of sharing my gifts and fearing the reaction of an unknown audience.   

What exactly is waiting when the curtains are drawn? What will be seen?

Instead, I had mastered what we’ll call “Sharing Turrets” where I’d bombard and dump all my goods on the table and run, rather than share in an organic natural manner.

My mom crafted a game plan for her recital, she’d just smile and do it. And that’s exactly what she did.  Her smile was frozen onto her otherwise petrified counting down the seconds until she’s off that stage face. She went through the motions, hitting every move.  After all, she is a master perfectionist student first, scaredy cat second.

We, her real audience in that room of 100, cheered the loudest. We were all so proud of her and impressed she did it. She got on that stage and made it through!! Bravo Momasita, bravo.

I see throughout my life where I’ve been too fearful to just pull the trigger. To just go for it.  To put my brave face on and just get up on that stage and do the funky chicken. To stop worrying about the applause, heckles or stone cold silence I may or may not receive and just do what I love, be who I am, do my work and share my gifts in the best and the most graceful way possible for me.

Gabrielle Bernstein recently gave me a nice kick in the ass to take the stage, as I relayed my fears about taking my journey with the Mommas Pearls blog and radio show to the next level and start group coaching. I'm onto my second group Tele-call series and am facilitating workshops.

On the upcoming Mommas Pearls Tele-call series we are taking a journey of self-love and through that journey we’ll pull back the curtain and cast a spotlight upon what triggers our fears, insecurities and doubts which may have stopped, stalled or delayed us.  We'll strip it naked, like they say to do to overcome stage fright, and let the love shine through.

The love we hold for ourselves even in our most fearsome and overwhelming moments is the barometer for which our love for others is measured and how our children will gauge their own self love.  

May your grand gusto performance be worthy of an encore. 

Learn more about the Mommas Pearls Tele-Call Series by clicking through...

 
Join us for a FREE PREVIEW CALL on Monday, January 30th @8pmEST
CALL IN INFORMATION:
Conference Dial-in Number: (605) 475-4000
Participant Access Code: 1001670#