Maternal Instincts, A Given?

I remember when...

By: Cynthia Litman, Esq.

Pearl of the Post: Trust Yourself

Being a mother is a work in progress and a pearl of a job. Women are automatically expected to have maternal instincts. It’s natural right? Not always.  

Honing your maternal instincts and creating an organic flow within your family takes intention, practice and patience. I'm hosting an En*theos Class on this meaty topic.

While pregnant your body takes on a life of its own and you are along for the ride. There’s little within your control, yet when baby arrives it’s up to you to take the reigns. You and your body may be in transition but baby waits for nobody!
 

I believe we enter this world programmed with all the tools we need to fulfill our mission for this lifetime. It’s the parent’s job to help their kids unlock their mission by providing access to the tools and resources available at just the right time in their development. No small feet. Knowing what to do when is part instinct, part research and all faith.

Here are 10 pearls to help you polish your maternal instincts at any stage of parenting:

Baby Data

1. Know Thyself First. Your journey begins within. You may need to dial back your ready to pounce Momma Bear instincts. Your child will unlock aspects of yourself and expand your being. The lessons you are to learn together are revealed with time. Examine your feelings and fears once you have a handle on what your challenges are you can get yourself out of the way to focus on your child.  
2. Use Your Generational Wisdom. YOU are programmed with everything you need for this lifetime, including, how to be your child’s parent. They picked you for a reason. All the information from your ancestral line is stored within your body. Tap into that powerful force to firmly understand your space in this time. You, as a mother and teacher and your child, who is carrying the torch of your generational line forward.
3. Do Your Research. Knowledge is power. Research helps prepare you for action. As you learn, you encode your body’s response mechanisms. You may feel perpetually behind the 8 ball but try to stay one step and stage ahead of your child in your research so you know what is coming down the pike. Other moms are the best guide, from mommy bloggers to your community friends. Filter the information you are receiving and if you are buying out the baby book shelf, remember that the baby business is big business and many products are sold on fear.
4. Gut Check. It takes guts to parent and you must trust your gut. Parenting is the scariest and best thing you will ever do and you will do it 24/7 for the rest of your life (god willing). Your guts will guide and protect you. However, be aware of the fears and insecurities that are being triggered. Channel your fear into an opportunity for healing. Take action irrespective of your fears, not in response to them. Likewise, learn to trust your child’s instincts and give space to help them work through their fears.
5. Build Trust. Trust and respect in a parent child relationship are not a given and cannot be commanded, rather they are earned. Life together is a practice and you build trust through lots of trial and error. Remember it’s a two way street. Your child is scoping you big time. Respect the process and expect mistakes. As you grow more confident and comfortable in the decisions, your child will feel more confident in you and trust that they are being cared for. Trust creates fluidity in your relationship.
6. Watch, Look and Listen. Being present and mindful in the moment is the key to unlocking your child’s mysteries. Learning your child’s non-verbal language is key throughout every stage. There is so much information being exchanged in a given moment. Be very observant. Do not ignore what you see and hear. Cast aside your judgments and be present. Try to see the world through their eyes. The clearer you are, the more consciously you can decipher the moment and respond naturally. 
7. Quiet Time. The world gets really noisy real fast when a child enters. We get lost in the white noise of laundry machines, cries and chaos. Find time daily to quiet your space, wind down and tune in. Be gentle and be still. Surrender to the chaos and keep the pressure off. Keep your mind quiet through all your busy actions. Your mindset creates a renewable resource of energy. Finding the quiet time to recharge maintains your flow.
8. Community. We are not supposed to parent alone. American society has adopted the isolationist paradigm which I believe runs against the grain of our maternal instincts. The more you connect with other moms and are willing to share, the more supported and empowered you will feel and the more resources will appear. With a community behind you, the more natural the mom job feels. As you give and receive support, your instincts will be honed and you may help another mom on their journey.
9. Forgiveness. Practice forgiveness daily. Being stuck in guilt and regret stunts your energy and ability to act in the moment. Parenting is a practice and the more unconditional you are with yourself the more flexible you become as a parent. Every parent is imperfect and forgiveness alleviates the pressure upon yourself and within your family relationships, especially if you have a partner who does everything “wrong”.
10. Just Be Yourself. Stay true to who you are and be willing to grow. Your entry into motherhood sheds the skin of your past but your core remains the same. If you can find the natural expression of yourself in the moment, your child’s essence will naturally unfold. Make it a joyful journey!

Parenthood tests our instincts daily. Trust yourself and embrace the precious moments!! :)

En*theos

I'm diving deeper into this topic and sharing my personal experiences and resources during a FREE Livestream En*Theos Class on Fri. Dec. 20th, 10amPT/1pmET (free for 24 hours then available in the archives).

Register Here & stay tuned for Mommas Pearls monthly En*theos classes!!!

This post was originally published by En*Theos on Dec. 16th

Resources
Baby Data by Janis Krempa of Six Pencils: Baby Data is a moment to moment guide for new parents so they are cued into the rhythms and natural process of a newborns life. It simply makes the mom job easier as you can be present in the moment with your baby. I wish I had this when my kids were born!! Janis is a behavioral analyst, friend, fellow Momtrepreneur and client.

Copyright © 2013 Cynthia Litman d/b/a Tigris Imprints. All Rights Reserved.