By: Cynthia Litman
Pearl: Use Wisely
On my temple's walls is the proverbial pearl, "The Light of God, Is The Soul of a Person."
It grips me every time.
As the holiday season begins, remember its underpinnings. Our connection to something greater than ourselves and to each other. Add this to your wish list.
This year I'm craving something richer than present hunting. More presence, less presents. I am on a budget!
December is an endless to do list - from house decor, shopping lists (family, friends, teachers, etc.), social calendar and end of year business wrap ups.
Yes there's so much pressure to DO, but how will you BE?
As are all of the supporting characters -Santa, Elves, Hanukkah Harry, Mensch on the Bench, Maccabee on the Mantel, Kawanza King, etc. And, my favorite, the ghosts of holidays' past of those no longer with us.
Inviting their presence uplifts the holiday spirit, enriches your connection and curbs loneliness.
The season boasts over 29 holidays celebrated by 7 of the major religions from Hannukah, Christmas, Kawanza, Omisoka, Ramadan, Boxing Day to Black Friday.
It is truly a magical time of year!
My kids pay very close attention to who celebrates what holiday. They've already begun asking their friends what they celebrate - Christmas or Hanukah (2:29). Followed immediately by what's on their wish list and a debriefing on daily Elf shenanigans.
My kids discuss their cookie offerings for Santa and whether presents will magically arrive for them on Christmas Morning. My daughter fears Santa will not visit us as there is no chimney in our current house. My son knows Santa's magical and can use a window. Never mind the fact that we're Jewish, Santa will drop presents for us at our friends houses. He's cool like that.
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| "THE Tree" |
Tis the season for miracles and hence, no obstacles exist that can't be overcome.
I carefully select my words around the holidays. Well, most of the time. ;) It was a touchy subject when I was growing up and I'll be dammed if my child breaks the Santa news to their peers!
Religion is a hotly contested topic.
One's belief system is the corner stone of how we live our lives, what we do onto others and how we interpret the rule of law.
One dour belief sets off the dominos. The world needs more acceptance and uplifting beliefs. Especially now as religion is weaponized.
Luckily, my town is open and accepting of multiple faiths. At an evening with my Rabbi and other mommas, we discussed how to make the holidays meaningful, shift the focus away from material items and creating family traditions.
Discuss the history of the holidays and your ancestors. Ask your children about who influences their lives. Turn these talks into mini books, like a "hero book" and add a page each night. For other ideas, check out The Kindness Elves.
I love setting new traditions with my young family.
Our family favorite is the cousins holiday cook off. The winners from the previous year set the ground rules, we do a family Secret Santa with a budget cap and cook for the win (this is my year!)!
I theme out our 8 nights, last year's were Book Night, Arts and Crafts, Game Night, Movie Night, etc. This year I'm going for pearls: Day 1: "Know Thyself": who we think we are and where we came from with the gift of a name necklace made by a local kidpreneur to benefit FoxG1;
Day 2: "Is the Pen Mightier than the Sword": the power of words and control with the gift of tattoo pens and an xbox controller;
Day 3: "It's far better to give than to receive": charitable giving and gratitude with the gift of them donating unused toys and receiving $5 (this went better than I'd expected!); and well, I'm still working on the rest.
God is creation. The most God like thing we can do upon this earth is to love and parent our miraculous little creations. Do that and every other gift is a bonus.
I always felt connected to my religion through my parents and grandparents but not necessarily through my temple growing up. As an adult, I see the value and beauty in it.
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| Unicef Cards The subject of Religious School arose with my son and the conversation went a little something like this: |
Me: Today, you begin Hebrew School.
Him: Why??
Me: Well, you're in 3rd grade right?
Him: Yes.
Me: You're Jewish, right?
Him: Yes.
Me: God commands it.
End of discussion.
I found myself in an unusual place of commandment. He fully obeyed. And I liked it.
One of my friends is a complete pro. She'll toss a God card for everything from why they have an early bed time to eating veggies. I borrowed my card straight from her playbook.
Religion fully became my shield.
Every week we replay the scene. He whines and I chalk it up to a higher power. I pray he'll organically develop an affinity and connection to his faith.
Otherwise, it backfires and becomes a ruthless sword. Blind faith is dangerous. Religion created a hot mess. Exhibit A - the Middle East.
I want my children to question their teachings and like Mommas Pearls, repurpose them for their time.
Spirituality provides checks and balances and is the uniting force of all religion. We spend so much time focusing on the differences between spirituality and religion.
During a service, the Rabbi suggested how all major religions began with the teachings of a man's interpretation of spirituality and nature. Religion fractioned off from there.
Religions are the suits and colors of the same deck shuffling around.
This season fold the cards and be the light. Honor your traditions, celebrate each other's similarities and be present with your family. There we spread the light of God.
Wishing you and yours a truly blessed holiday season!!
You're welcome to share your family's traditions either below or over on FB. #MakeMeaning
Follow my family's holiday magic on Instagram.
Please share and spread the holiday cheer! :)
Related Mommas Pearls Posts
Holiday Spirit
The Local Polar Express
Some Wonderful Ways to Add Meaning This Season
Lisa Miller, PHD: "The Spiritual Child" - a friend highly recommends this book. Lisa has an incredible Ted Talk as well as multiple articles for guidance.
Holiday Help and Activities
Rise of the Guardians - Love this movie!
Volunteer with your children
(c) 2015 Cynthia
Litman, Esq., PLLC. All Rights Reserved.
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