What If?!

By: Cynthia Litman

Pearl of the Post: Feel it Real

Money Globe

So I'm a few days late and dollars short with the whole Powerball thing, what else is new?

The billion dollar Powerball Pandemonium is still fresh on my mind as 2016 is quickly shaping up as a year of possibilities all fueled by the American Dream.

A Dream where anything is possible for anyone from anywhere. The lottery plays right into that sauce bucket.

And so you, me and millions of others pray to every deity who'll listen for your lucky balls to drop. 

My mom and I were talking about the Powerball Pandemonium's effect on the psyche. A billion dollars is stupid money, I mean in any currency it's ridiculous. It takes us all for a magic carpet ride.

We project and feel that greater idyllic version of ourselves. The person in the mirror that you see that has more, does more, gives more and is more. We assume that version of you is happier.

That persona is right there waiting for you but you have to win her. But if you're a big fat loser like moi, you watch the dream fade in the morning light. You wake up groggy and almost forgetting your delusions of grandeur.  Then it's back to "reality."

What if you are already capable of embodying all that you imagine, right here, right now? What then is stopping you? Is the only answer money? Don't say yes cuz I'll spank you.

Lots of stuff is stopping me.

7 years ago my magic carpet crash landed. My husband and his family lost a fortune and money remains a major source of conflict for me. Although, at over a billion dollar jackpot, all was somehow somewhere way over the conflict rainbow.

I kept dreaming, after all we've lost, what if we won? That would be some sweet poetic justice. Or would it? Would it just exasperate my wounds?

Mo' money, mo' problems!

Although, no-one really seems to mind or care about rich man problems. Until, they become your problems. Until they cut corners to hold onto their treasure chest and leave you to rot. Oh how we love seeing the uber mighty fall. It's encoded in our societal DNA as scandals run on the tabloid feedback loop. I'm watching Showtime's new show "Billions" waiting for the drop.

Aside from scoring the golden ticket, it takes so much to build yourself up and so very little to knock it all down. 

In my forthcoming book, (which I'll keep saying until I hit the book lotto) I write and recall watching the house where I birthed my son and enjoyed for 2+ years be totally and utterly demolished within 3 days.  My son's room gone in less than 5 minutes. (I'll post the video if and when I dig it out of my digital haystack.) I've spent so much time preparing our nest. Everything in my son's room carefully sourced and planned.

Boom, gone, utterly leveled. Then poof we lost our pot of gold. Never would I step foot into the house we dreamt of building. That all is a nightmare for another day.

Praying Hands

Life changes. Dreams change.  

A billion dollars would have filled in a lot of the holes poked into my dreams. Yet it still doesn't guarantee a billion years of happiness.

I was waiting on line with a friend to purchase my PowerBall tickets and naturally, I began talking like I already won.

She goes, "Cynthia, you couldn't tell anyone you won..." I go "yeah okay, people will just be like 'where's Cynthia' and why is she posting private island beach photos for over a month on Facebook?" She then says, "It's dangerous, you'd have to go off Facebook, they'd kidnap your kids."

Going off Facebook and into isolation is non-negotiable for me but suddenly I'm afraid of "THEY".  You know "them", who'll pull you straight down from your billion dollar high to try to rip what you've won, starting with your first born.

THEY come in all forms. The world is a large playing field but fear keeps us playing small. 

Your fear, love and truth gets played out daily. Money can just buy you a state of the art stadium. You still have to step up to the plate. I'm more ME now than before.

We are all feeling through this life. When people say "we are all one" that's the unity moment they mean.

Same shit, different constructs. 

I thought how being ricocheted back into big money would differ this time. Actually, I feel this through regularly as I'm clearing my pathway towards abundance. How would the new money ME  differ from the old money ME.

Measuring myself, I'd like to think I've evolved. I evaluate how engaged I am in my life. Am I in Tesla auto pilot mode or self drive?

Are you present, active and accountable or removed and passive? The more you delegate, the less you do directly. You manage but from a step back. The power there is that it frees your time up to do other things.

The more people in your mix the higher your responsibility and liability level. You can support a micro economy. My Powerball team of a housekeeper, cook, driver, real estate manager and a bodyguard to protect my kids from them, gives plenty of people to point the finger towards.

When your system is stripped you have to clean up your own mess. You are who you are no matter your station or circumstances. 

Money can expand your persona but so can you without a dime. Each moment presents you with this opportunity. Happiness is not something you buy, it's a state of being you choose. Stick with your truth, follow your love and feel your way and be that greater version of yourself you meet in your dreams.

That's some powerful stuff you can bank on. ;)

Resources:
Staying Anonymous 
Images via RGB Stock

(c) 2016 Cynthia Litman. All Rights Reserved.